Thursday, May. 29, 2008

Kicked that bad habit to the curb

It's been over a year now since I gave away the cigarettes. A milestone that my father would have been proud of had he been alive today.

Smoking, I have come to realise, is one of those habits that you just have to want to give up for you to actually give it up in the end and as much as I loved curling up with a hot coffee and a cigarette at the end of each work day, I loved having a healthy body much more. I noticed small changes when I first quit – I lost the constant feeling of lerthargy, I ate full meals instead of just picking at them which in turn helped me gain some weight - but the longer I pursued this course of action, the more my body seemed to reward me. For instance my hair is now officially shiny. Even when it's dirty and unwashed for a week it gleams like brown liquid gold and my face has lost this redness to it which I thought was going to haunt me for the rest of my life. Giving up smoking I admit was difficult. Not so much giving up the smoking part but just the habit of always having a smoke when I was on either the computer, or watching TV, or when I poured myself a drink or when I finished a meal. I found myself constantly cursing those first few months when I would go to sit in front of the computer and wasn't allowed to have a ciggie with my coffee, watching others sit down in the smoking area at work to lite up as I walked on but eventually I just got over it. Now it's almost like I never smoked at all.

Of course I haven't come out of this battle completely unscathed – my skin has aged considerably, majority of my teeth now have fillings – but those scars will serve as a reminder to not go back to that old habit. It's a relief of sorts to be at this stage now, to know that I don't need a smoke when I finish my dinner, to know that I don't need a smoke when I decide to get on the computer to do some writing, but it took me a while to get here.

Apart from the Beloved, I haven't pressured my non smoking ways on others but when I do hear of someone giving it up I always congratulate them on giving it a go and more so when they know they won't be going back. I guess the first step is that wanting to quit. The second step is action.

Thursday, May. 22, 2008

Breathe, just breathe

The trouble with falling into my black pit of despair is fighting the urge to punish myself.

I don't physically punish myself, I've never been the type and never will be, but I do emotionally maim my psyche to such a state sometimes that I will withdraw into this little cocoon of silence and sometimes, it's hard to crawl back out again. I'm not entirely sure why I withdraw so, why I allow all my flaws to be disected inside my head so thoroughly and oh so painfully and I guess it is something unexplainable unless you have experienced it yourself. I've found that when I feel one of these episodes coming on I will try to distract myself with things that make me happy – i'll go for a walk, or take some photos, or read a favourite book, or write in my journal - but it doesn't always work. Sometimes I just have to accept that I feel like shit right now and eventually, I will be back to my normal able self. Well as normal as I know anyway.

I've had a busy week so far and a little bit of a shitty well as well. I won't bore you with details but will instead post up some photos I took last week because it pleases me to do so.

They are of another church which lies in the middle of the city and as you can see, it's just as beautiful as the last.

Thursday, May. 15, 2008

A place of prayer

I've always had a thing for old buildings. Whether they were made from brick, wood or stone, buildings with a bit of history have always fascinated me. This is probably one of the reasons I want to travel the world because everywhere I look I keep stumbling over these lovely places and I want to freeze frame them in time but since I won't be exploring the world any time soon I've instead resigned myself to taking some shots of a few of our historic looking buildings. I shouldn't say “resigned” like it's a bad thing when we do have some lovely places here but I guess when you see something everyday you kind of get used to seeing it that you don't appreciate it anymore. The last couple of days however I have been making an effort to take photos and below is one I captured of a church that I have wanted to photograph since I moved back to this area over fifteen years ago now. It's old yet has been well maintained over the years and I really wanted some closer shots of the building but there were still children hanging around, waiting for parents to pick them up so I thought I might instead wait till Saturday when I knew the place would be deserted.

I'm not really a religious person but I really love the way that building stands out and roars it's message of god across to whoever lays eyes on it. I can't wait to get some closer shots.

Monday, May. 12, 2008

My own federal budget

With the new federal budget to be handed down tomorrow, I'm a little apprehensive about what exactly this will mean for my family and I. I'm not entirely sure where we fit in the scheme of things, what our joint income would rate on the poor to rich chart, but I'm hopeful that whatever changes that are implemented tomorrow, will not effect us too badly. But if that was me handing out the budget tomorrow I would like to make the following changes;

To stop having the current child support payments being double taxed. As it stands the government is double dipping their hands into the cookie jar, so to speak. Not only does the payer of the child support pay tax on the money that is given to the payee but then when the payee does his/her tax, they too pay tax on the money. Only one person should pay this tax and this should be the reciever of the funds, not both.

Scrapping the current ambulance levy system. My partner and I have separate private health accounts which includes an ambulance levy. Since we also have the electricity on in our house, we pay it through Ergon as well. That totals for three lots of ambulance levy. The goverment needs to find another way to make this system fairer and people with private health insurance should be exempt from paying it twice.

Scrapping the 1.5% Medicare levy. My family pays around three thousand dollars in private health insurance and on top of this we have to pay a further percentage of our wage to Medicare. I've worked it out and it's around the $4,500 for private health insurance and the medicare levy. The government needs to force peoples hands into joining a private health system and to lower the Medicare levy for those with private health. The government should reward us citizens more and punish us less.

To be able to claim fuel used for work use as a work related expense. Small business are allowed to claim their fuel, even large companies are allowed to but most people need a car to get to work so why can't this be placed on the tax rebate list? Even if we could claim say a quarter of what we spend on fuel. That would be at least something

To eliminate the $1,500 threshold to reach before you can claim extra medical expenses. You should be able to claim 20% of ALL medical expenses from the first dollar that you fork out for your health.

For supermarkets to be forced to buy a large portion of their fruit and vegetables from Australian farmers, if they are available to purchase. I want to eat Australian grown products and I want the money I spend to stay here in my home country. Why buy elsewhere when we have good products here?

What changes would you make to your government budget if you had the power?

Friday, May. 09, 2008

Those were the days

Those days when I used to wander around every day aimlessly with a camera in hand are often missed now. I used to take a hundred photos a day and now I'm lucky to take a ten, though not for lack of trying. As it gets colder, the days grow even shorter and this leaves me with a very small window of opportunity to go exploring. The weekends are my only option and lately they have been jam packed with swimming lessons for Zac, house work, writing and designing. I couldn't possibly have another hobby if I tried right now and like normal, I want to do everything and all at once if I can manage it.

I've been working a few extra hours this week so I can have a half day next week in hopes to catch a flick at the cinema's and maybe lunch at the pub with the Beloved. It's way too expensive right now to get us a baby sitter so we can have some adult time and I don't like to impose on my friends either which leaves me with this option. I don't mind really but I miss exploring the shops of an afternoon, at a leisurely pace, and bringing home all sorts of new things. I guess this is one way to prevent me from spending any money as I'm already over commitment and need to save desperately if I'm to agree to building this monstrous shed that the Beloved wants. We are also looking into purchasing some more land as an investment of sorts but that will depend on what sort of fianance the bank will give us and whether or not I justify the expense. I'd love to own some more acreage if only for the simple reason that I could prehaps buy a horse at a later date and then I'd have somewhere to keep it but when it comes to money I can't be completely irresponsible, even for a pet that I have wanted since I could talk. In this I will have to just bide my time.

Another early morning tomorrow but at least I won't rising just to go to work. I want to catch a sunrise and I have found a few perfect spots to take photos from.

Monday, May. 05, 2008

Mountain views

Yesterday when we visited the dam it reminded me a little of a couple of places that my brothers and I visited whilst we were in Tasmania. It was a lot greener there and less civialized looking out in the scrub but the views were captivating none the less. I'm forever trying to explain to the Beloved what it is like in Tasmania, with so much to discover and see in such a small place, but I know it needs to be show to him for him to truly understand it's beauty. Passionate words and photos don't give the place enough credit and it really does deserve it.

But on the upside we do have our own little piece of paradise here as well and one I want to explore more thoroughly. Not just because of it's rich history of gold mines and dinosaurs but because untouched it too is a beautiful place to see.

Thursday, May. 01, 2008

Let sleeping cats lie

Tomorrow is Friday. One more early morning and the next one will be a definate sleep in.

I think my iron levels have dropped again if nearly falling asleep in my chair at work is any indication. I just get so caught up with everything that is going on, most of these things I really shouldn't be worried out but I worry about them none the less, that I sometimes neglect myself in the process and now I have lack of energy to thank for my efforts. I hate this feeling of complete laziness that had snuck up on me and am well aware that if I don't do something about it, then no one else will. So tomorrow I'm making a special trip to the chemist to stock up on some iron tablets since I apparently don't eat enough red meat to satisfy this naturally.

This girl I know who is sort of a friend but not so much as she once was (say what?) is being evicted from her current rental home but she doesn't seem all concerned with these recent change of events. Her major problem is that she procrastinates alot. She talks about organising her house, she talks about getting her house clean but it never happens and because it never happens, she is being evicted from the place. Now she is thinking of moving out where we are which is okay and everything but she has cats and these aren't indoor sort of cats and the thought of them galavanting around the countryside, breeding and killing wildlife is enough to bother me to write something here about it. I like all animals but I'm not a fan of domestic cats. At least with a dog you can build a fence and it will stay put but it's quite impossible to keep a cat caged up without feeling cruel. I'm not sure how I should broach this subject with her, after all she is quite sensitive about her pets, but I do need to say something. I'm sure I'll find the words when I need them.

I need to take my camera with me on my drive to work in the mornings because the landscape is so beautiful that early. I usually arrive in the city just as the sun is peaking above the horizon and it's breathtaking with a hint of orange/purple light behind the trees. I love it out here.

Those mountains in the photo above are near home. I drive towards them every single day.